Ascendance of a Bookworm P5V6 Drama CD 6 SS: Elvira’s POV – A place where you can reveal your true feelings

“Elvira, I’m sorry for asking this of you when you’re still tired, but I want to have a private discussion after dinner.”

As soon as we arrived home after the Archduke Conference, Lord Karstedt called out to me with a grim expression on his face. I intuitively had an inauspicious sense of foreboding.

I also attended the Archduke Conference as a scholar deeply involved in the printing industry. Hence I knew about all the incidents that occurred such as the blessing which Rozemyne bestowed at the Starbind Ceremony, her frequent contact with royalty in the library’s underground archives and the archducal couple being repeatedly summoned to the palace.

But the discussions with royalty were held in the absence of retainers so I didn’t know the specifics of what they were talking about. Rozemyne was also summoned to have a chat in the archduke’s room but even that was held in the absence of retainers.

The only information that was publicly known right now was that the Sovereignty’s temple wanted Rozemyne as its High Bishop, nobles from other duchies were raising a fuss and supporting this notion, and in exchange for rejecting this proposal, Rozemyne held a Dedication Ritual at the king’s request.

…Did something happen to Rozemyne?

Tomorrow there were plans to hold a meeting to inform all the absent members of the archducal clan and important officials about the outcomes of the Archduke Conference. Hence, there must be something I need to be told that won’t be revealed during that meeting. The more I think about it, the less likely it is to be good news. I can’t help but feel anxious about the upcoming discussion.

…Since a long time ago, archduke conferences have always been a time of great turbulence.

Lady Veronica obtained power in Ehrenfest only after she attended her first Archduke Conference in which she officially ascended to the position of first wife after the Starbind Ceremony. With the support of the former Aub Ahrensbach, she started oppressing the Leisegang nobles as retribution for their harassment towards her mother Lady Gabriele. I only knew about it from other people’s tales but that was when Lady Veronica’s reign as a tyrant began.

I also remember that the decision to force Lord Ferdinand into the temple was made during the Archduke Conference. The previous archduke, Lord Adelbert’s health deteriorated and Lord Sylvester attended as his substitute. Lord Ferdinand was forced into the temple to show his deference and support of Lord Sylvester. Many of us called out in protest to at least wait until after the funeral, however such opinions were not heeded. Lord Ferdinand ended up attending his father’s funeral as a blue priest rather than as a family member.

Perhaps the only instance of turbulence occurring at the Archduke Conference bringing a smile to my face was the time of Lady Veronica’s demise. At that time, Lady Veronica’s tyranny was at its peak and both my family and my parents’ house were struggling under her oppression.

Back then, I didn’t attend the Archduke Conference so I don’t know the specifics of what Lord Sylvester and Lord Karstedt were doing. But I remember distinctly that in the midst of the Archduke Conference, Lady Veronica was arrested and imprisoned in the White Tower, causing a huge amount of confusion amongst nobles in the duchy.

Amidst all the nobles raising a fuss about it, Lord Karstedt asked me to accept Rozemyne into the family. He claimed that she was the daughter of his late 3^rd wife and asked me to take a commoner blue shrine maiden apprentice under my wing and educate her to be suitable as the adopted daughter of the archduke before having her baptised as my daughter.

…And then last year…

Lord Ferdinand’s engagement was decided during the Archduke Conference. Lord Ferdinand was repeatedly summoned and many secret discussions were held between the archducal couple and the royal family without the presence of retainers. While we were attending the conference, Lord Ferdinand appeared to be busy with various matters and had a disgruntled aura which made it feel difficult to approach him. Even when returning to the duchy, I still didn’t know the details of the discussions with the royal family. We were only told during the meeting of the archducal clan.

…I somewhat feel like this year has a similar atmosphere to last year.

I ended up eating dinner while feeling much more anxious than I was during the Archduke Conference itself.

We followed our attendants’ suggestion to first take a bath to calm our nerves so now the two of us were facing each other in our sleepwear. The topic of the discussion was so serious that on top of asking all attendants to leave the room, Lord Karstedt gripped a sound-blocking magic tool and gestured for me to do the same.

Personally, I would have preferred to be a bit more dressed up during the discussion, but I can understand that the attendants rushed us so they could finish their work on time.

…Since it’s Lord Karstedt we’re talking about, I’m sure he didn’t give the attendants any advance notice of this happening.

They also have their own work schedule, so it’s troublesome for them to have to deal with sudden changes. Lord Karstedt was waiting for me while sitting on the chaise lounge, but it seems like he hadn’t touched his usual post-dinner wine. He gestured for me to sit beside him so I obeyed and picked up a sound-blocking magic tool. But it looked like he was still struggling to come up with the appropriate words as his eyes swam around nervously.

He looked just as nervous as he had been before asking me to take in Rozemyne, so in spite of knowing it was a serious topic, I couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle.

“If you just stay silent, I won’t know what’s going on. What happened to Rozemyne?”

“Why did you say Rozemyne? Who leaked the information to you!?”

Lord Karstedt widened his eyes in surprise and started to interrogate me for the source of my information.

“Please calm down. It’s obvious if you just stop to think about it. All the sudden changes to the Archduke Conference had something to do with Rozemyne. The Starbind Ceremony, the Dedication Ritual and even the Healing Ritual performed on the final day were all events related to Rozemyne which hadn’t been held in previous Archduke Conferences. On top of that, the archducal couple were summoned numerous times by royalty. Anyone with half a brain would realise that there was something happening.”

“I see. I’m relieved that there wasn’t an information leak.”

Lord Karstedt heaved a sigh of relief as he stroked his beard. I patiently waited as he contemplated for a while on how to best convey his thoughts. It wasn’t a long wait, but it was enough to make me tense up in anticipation.

“…It’s probably best if I just start by telling you the outcome. Rozemyne is going to be adopted by the king.”

My mind went completely blank.

I was expecting something along the lines of “The king was unable to overturn the temple’s arguments and decided to marry Rozemyne to one of the princes”, but I couldn’t understand how the topic proceeded in the direction of adoption.

“Why? I’ve never heard of any precedent of the Zent adopting a woman.”

Nobles would sometimes adopt a daughter who they could marry off to form bonds for the sake of improving their house’s status. However, the royal family sat at the very top of Yurgenschmidt so there was nothing to improve. If they merely wanted to form connections with a duchy, a marriage would be sufficient and there would be no need for adoption.

“…In other words, there are circumstances such that marriage is insufficient.”

As I held my forehead and groaned, Lord Karstedt squinted his ice-blue eyes at me and said with a bitter expression, “You’re too smart for your own good”.

“Keep this a secret. Rozemyne is a candidate to become the next Zent and is currently the closest to obtaining Grutrissheit.”

“…What did you just say?”

The situation is far worse than I could have ever imagined. How could anyone have predicted that she’s a candidate to become the next Zent?

“In the Sovereignty, it seems like some of the magic tools related to the country’s foundation have disintegrated so they’re desperate for anyone who can provide them with mana and Grutrissheit. During the Archduke Conference, as a result of researching the ancient texts in the library, they discovered that one needs to be registered as royalty to enter the place where Grutrissheit is located.”

“In that case, why did Rozemyne become the candidate for Zent instead of all the gentlemen and ladies in the royal family?”

If one could become a candidate from simply reading some library texts, surely the same would apply to the members of the royal family and the Dunkelferger archduke candidate who accompanied her. There’s no way Rozemyne is the closest to Grutrissheit.

“I don’t know the conditions required for one to qualify as Zent. It wasn’t information that was passed down to us… However, according to Cornelius and Ottilie’s reports, the royal family ordered Rozemyne to go around washing all the shrines in the Royal Academy. Afterwards, there was a mysterious change to the library. Frequent prayer is probably an important requirement if one wishes to receive Grutrissheit from the goddess.”

Rozemyne was a commoner raised in the temple so she was frequently scorned by the former High Bishop. That’s supposedly why a recently baptised child like her was forced to perform rituals which cost large quantities of mana. The very first time she met Lord Karstedt was when she was asked to perform the healing ritual after the Knight’s Order exterminated a trombe. Rozemyne shrugged off the scornful treatment she received from the former High Bishop by taking her prayers seriously which led to her receiving the protection of numerous gods and goddesses. Nowadays, she’s known as Ehrenfest’s saint who has a habit of praying to the gods and spreading blessings whenever something good happens, however I wonder what people would think if they knew the origin of all of this was the harassment she received at the hands of the former High Bishop. It’s irony at its finest if being raised like this is what caused her to become a candidate for Zent which is said to be the person closest to the gods.

“Am I right to interpret this adoption as a means to bring Grutrissheit to the royal family?”

“Nothing wrong with that statement.”

“Did that girl wish to be adopted by the king by her own free will?”

“…I heard that she negotiated with the royal family and received a lot of concessions.”

It seems even Lord Karstedt only knows what he was told by Lord Sylvester. According to him, Rozemyne negotiated with the royal family and was promised Ferdinand’s exemption from punishment and various conditions that were beneficial to Ehrenfest.

“I wonder if she was able to squeeze out any terms that were beneficial to herself…”

In order to save her real family, Rozemyne was adopted by the Aub to bring mana and new industries to Ehrenfest. This time around, in order to save Lord Ferdinand, she’s going to be adopted by the Zent to bring Grutrissheit to Yurgenschmidt. What kind of position will she find herself in if she’s unable to obtain Grutrissheit? Would they still treat her cordially?

“The move will only be officialised in one year’s time and Ehrenfest’s nobles are also not to hear a word of it until then. The plan is to make the announcement at next year’s Archduke Conference. Hence, Rozemyne’s preparations to move will have to be done in secret. Lady Florencia is pregnant so you will be the one in charge of her preparations. This is a request from the Aub.”

“It’s certainly true that it would be difficult for Lady Florencia to move around secretively whilst pregnant. Very well, consider it done. I will take care of Rozemyne’s preparations.”

Rozemyne’s life has been thrown into disarray for the sake of other people’s convenience. Just imagining the colossal responsibility placed on her tiny shoulders makes my hands tremble in sorrow.

“Elvira, your hands are shaking.”

“I’m fine. Rozemyne has it much harder than me.”

Just as I was about to get up from the chaise lounge so I could jot down the questions I need to ask Rozemyne and her retainers, Karstedt grabbed my arm and stopped me.

“Elvira.”

I opened my eyes wide in surprise in response to his booming voice and the fact that he’d pulled me into a powerful embrace.

“You don’t have to bear all your burdens alone.”

Those words caused all the tension to seep out of my body. The moment I realised there was someone who would support me, I was onset by a wave of surprise and relief. My vision suddenly watered as tears started to roll down my cheeks. I couldn’t afford to show anyone this side of myself, so I hurriedly wiped away my tears and smiled.

“There’s no need to worry. You already know, don’t you? I’m a Haldenzel woman who can take care of herself.”

“…Don’t say that. I still feel bad about the things I said back then.”

Lord Karstedt lowered his head onto my shoulder and grimaced as if he’d swallowed something bitter. Our relationship had undergone a world of change compared to when we’d first gotten engaged. I smiled wryly as I reminisced back to the old days.

From the time when our engagement had been decided until Lord Karstedt graduated from the Royal Academy, he had frequently said to me “Aren’t you a Haldenzel woman who can take care of herself? You have no need for the likes of me”. Even after we’d gotten married, he’d say similar phrases to me every now and then.

“Back in those days, I was very much disliked by you, Lord Karstedt.”

“…I won’t deny that such was my attitude at the time. Back then, you were symbolic of a cage from which I couldn’t escape.”

Having been born as the child of Lord Bonifatius and his first wife descended from the Leisegangs, Lord Karstedt had been regarded as the next Archduke. Lord Adelbert’s body was frail, so it wasn’t known back then whether he’d be able to have any children.

“Until my baptism ceremony when I was permitted entry into the castle, I had always thought I’d inherit the title of archduke. That was also the reason why the archduke had ordered Rihyarda to come to my mansion to serve as my tutor.”

However, once his baptism ceremony was over and Lord Karstedt gained entry into the northern building, the title of archduke had been passed down, Lady Georgine had been born and Lady Veronica became desperate to ensure that her own child would inherit the title of archduke. By the orders of the newly instated archduke Lord Adelbert, Rihyarda was reassigned as the tutor for Lady Georgine.

“It’s natural for there to be plenty of policy changes whenever there’s a change in archduke. However, back when I was living in the castle, before the influence of Lady Veronica and Ahrensbach became widespread, I’d always thought that even if Lady Georgine became the next archduchess, I’d be the one who would become her spouse.”

“After all, Lady Veronica gave birth to two girls in a row. Most people back then were thinking the same thing. I was no exception to the rule.”

In order to make Lady Georgine the next archduchess, Lady Veronica had apparently been extremely strict with her education. After being told over and over again “You must never lose to Lord Karstedt”, Lady Georgine had developed an abnormal degree of hostility towards Lord Karstedt.

“However, the situation turned on its head when Sylvester was born.”

Lady Veronica contacted Ahrensbach and pleaded with them for support to help Lord Sylvester become the next archduke.

As a result, Lord Karstedt was shunned by Lady Veronica who insisted that “With Sylvester and two daughters, there’s no need for any other archduke candidates”, and he was demoted from the rank of archduke candidate.

“And Elvira, you know how I got engaged to you right after that, right? Just when I thought my life as an archduke candidate hated by Lady Veronica had finally come to an end, it felt like I was being cornered again even though I’d already been demoted to an archnoble,”

“I can understand those feelings of yours. I was chosen as your fiancée so you could help protect the Leisegang nobles from Lady Veronica when she started to throw her weight around once Lord Sylvester was born. That’s why I thought I needed to try my best to not have to overly rely on you.”

I couldn’t help but laugh as I thought back to our misunderstandings back then. In order to lessen the burden on Lord Karstedt as much as possible, I told him “I will try to not have to rely on you” but he apparently interpreted that instead as “Are you trying to say that there’s no longer any value in relying on me now that I’m no longer an archduke candidate?”.

“…Back then, I think Hirschur was the one who resolved our grievances with one another.”

“At that time, I thought she was being far too disrespectful, but everything she said was true.”

Nowadays, Hirschur was Ehrenfest’s dormitory supervisor, but back during our Royal Academy days, she was one of our upperclassmen. Having seen the archducal couple’s decision to demote Lord Karstedt from an archduke candidate to an archnoble, Hirschur moved to the Sovereignty as a research laboratory assistant upon her graduation from the Royal Academy. I distinctly remember being surprised when she firmly declared she didn’t want to undergo any political marriages, nor did she want to stay in Ehrenfest. However, once she’d become a Sovereignty noble and no longer had to worry about being disrespectful, Hirschur firmly reprimanded Lord Karstedt and warned him about his actions.

“Speaking of which, it felt like you fixed up your attitude after that, but what exactly did Hirschur say to you?”

I assumed that she must have said something rather out of line to him, so until now, I’d never asked him what that was. As I slightly turned my head to glance at the expression on Lord Karstedt’s face, I saw numerous creases in-between his eyebrows.

“Thinking back on it now, she was merely stating the obvious. She said some things along the lines of “You’re not the only one who didn’t wish for this political marriage” and “Take a good look at your surroundings and have a proper think about the consequences of your actions”. She relentlessly cornered me with logic and harsh words that gouged at my heart, all the while blocking off any possible escape routes.”

It was enough to make that stubborn Lord Karstedt change his attitude. It must have been quite the harsh scolding. Thanks to that, our relationship improved from one of being hated into one which was neither particularly good nor bad. I really am grateful to Hirschur for this.

“Speaking of which, did Rozemyne give you a stern talking to as well? Ever since we took her in, it feels like your attitude has changed.”

Whatever Rozemyne said to Lord Karstedt had about as much persuasive power as Hirschur’s warning. Our married life used to be one where we only fulfilled our responsibilities, but now we were able to converse with each other normally and we frequently exchanged opinions with one another.

“It’s not like she said anything to me in particular. I’m sure she only asked me purely out of curiosity. I was in a position where I had no choice but to answer her questions in order to teach her the common sense of nobility, so unable to give any vague responses, I came to my own realisations while coming up with answers to her questions.”

During the period before her baptism ceremony while Rozemyne was being educated on how to behave like an archnoble, she often asked questions to Lord Karstedt who she’d been familiar with ever since her days in the temple. When confronted with how to answer a child’s innocent questions of “Why?”, Karstedt had apparently changed his mind on all sorts of things.

…Our sons already knew what our relationship was like, so they never bothered to ask Lord Karstedt about it.

“I nearly fainted when you told me you wanted to bring in a commoner apprentice blue-robed shrine maiden and name her as the child of your deceased third wife, but everything changed for the better after Rozemyne came to our household.”

Prior to Lady Veronica’s demise, Eckhardt had been like a half-dead man ever since his wife had passed away soon after his liege had entered the temple. Lamprecht was completely at the mercy of Lady Veronica’s whims and Cornelius was acting rebellious as he was determined to not follow in his older brothers’ footsteps. On top of all that, Trudeliede was scheming with Lady Veronica to make Nikolaus the heir to our household. However, Lord Karstedt refused to entertain any discussions with me, claiming that domestic affairs of the house were my responsibility as the first wife, all the while using his work as an excuse to run away because he claimed that even if he were to stay at a home like this, he wouldn’t be able to relax.

“She has also blessed Haldenzel with bountiful harvests and introduced the printing industry, all of which now allows me to enjoy working and writing to my heart’s content. Words alone can never be enough to express my gratitude to Rozemyne. I never thought that one day I would have to let her go.”

Rozemyne was supposed to become Ehrenfest’s first wife while Lamprecht and Cornelius were going to be close by as guard knights who served the archducal couple.

“Lord Karstedt, do you mind if I act a little bit spoiled? I know there’s nothing that can be done about it, but I just want to put my thoughts into words.”

“I’ll listen to whatever you have to say so feel free to spill your heart out.”

Leaning against Lord Karstedt’s body as he embraced me in his arms, I let out a soft sigh as I let him support my body weight. Was it perhaps because I was in his embrace? I loosened my tongue and uttered words that I usually would have never spoken out loud.

“As a noble lady, this is something to be proud about, right? It is an incredible honour for one’s daughter to be adopted by the king. But to tell the truth, I hate this.”

“I know.”

“Regardless of how proud I should be that my daughter is going to be adopted by the king and my son is going to move with her to the Sovereignty as her retainer, I just can’t find it in myself to be happy about having to let them go.”

“To tell the truth, I’m not happy about this either.”

“Just why did Rozemyne have to be caught up in such a troublesome matter like the acquisition of Grutrissheit? What’s going to happen to her if she’s unable to get it?”

“I don’t know either. It’s really worrying.”

Lord Karstedt wiped away my tears which spilled out uncontrollably as he sympathised with whatever words I’d uttered as soon as they came to mind.

“It won’t just be Rozemyne. Cornelius will also be moving to the Sovereignty as her guard knight, won’t he? I’m going to be lonely without them. Even though I’d always thought they would be nearby…”

“Indeed. However, Lamprecht and Siegrecht will still be here.”

“What’s going to happen to Lamprecht’s future? If the engagement is cancelled, Lord Wilfried will no longer be able to remain as the next archduke.”

“As long as nothing major happens, I’m sure Sylvester will cover for him. There won’t be any significant changes.”

“But I’m also glad that Rozemyne wishes to save Lord Ferdinand. After all, it won’t just be Lord Ferdinand who is saved, but Eckhardt as well.”

If something disadvantageous to the duchy were to occur, the ones who moved to another duchy would likely be abandoned. I’m very grateful that Rozemyne showed consideration for their safety and protection in listing her conditions for being adopted by the king.

“…Wouldn’t it be better for you to tell Rozemyne your true feelings?”

“Eh?”

“I think it’s wonderful that you’re able to suppress these emotions and conduct yourself as a dignified noble lady. However, at the same time, it makes it difficult to notice your true intentions. Just as you’re aware, Rozemyne was born as a commoner and raised in the temple. I think it’s better to let her know how you feel as her mother and directly express the extent of your gratitude.”

My astonishment at his suggestion caused even my tears to dry up. I peeked into his ice blue eyes from up close. It didn’t appear to be a joke since Lord Karstedt seemed to sincerely believe in his suggestion.

“What’s the point in a mother being consoled by her daughter? That girl will definitely try her best to let me rely on her. Wouldn’t you feel sorry for her if she’s forced to carry my feelings at a time when she’s already bearing such heavy responsibilities?”

Just as I was about to raise my body that had been leaning against him, Lord Karstedt interfered as if to say he wouldn’t allow me, before returning me to my original position. Lord Karstedt’s deep voice reverberated from right next to my ear.

“There are times when people are happy that others rely on them. Most importantly, it can act as a form of salvation to receive confirmation that one’s existence has proven useful for others and to be told that their choices weren’t a mistake… After all, there was a time when I felt like I’d been saved by just a couple of your words.”

The back of my throat felt hot. Before I knew it, the tears that had once dried up started to spill from my eyes yet again. Up until he told me in this moment, I had never even noticed that I had saved Lord Karstedt with the power of my words. Now that I knew this fact, I could feel a sense of exuberance welling up in my chest that warmed my heart.

“…Do you honestly believe my true feelings will become a source of strength for that child?”

“I’m sure they will.”

Rozemyne’s departure can no longer be overturned. At this present moment in time, I have no idea how she will be treated after being burdened with the expectations of bringing Grutrissheit to Yurgenschmidt. Will she really be able to obtain Grutrissheit and marry Prince Sigiswald? What if she’s unable to obtain Grutrissheit and is instead married off to some other duchy as the king’s adopted daughter…?

…Irrespective of what position she may find herself in.

I simply prayed that my true feelings would be able to serve as Rozemyne’s salvation.

I wished for Rozemyne to one day find someone with whom she could share her true feelings.

I hoped she would be able to arrive at an environment in which she’d be able to cherish and raise her own children.

“It’s the role of a mother to prepare her children with the knowledge of how to create their own hidden rooms so that they can one day have heart to heart conversations with their own children. I will create a hidden room for Rozemyne.”